dogs

My darling girlfriend got us invited to a birthday party attended by none but the brighest and most accomplished of folk. The odd one had a brute such as I for opening doors, holding her coat, saying "yo're perfectly right, Dearest!" and so on. So I stored up plenty of words to look up and hoped we could get home soon so I could scratch my feet. All but four couples had left before the topic turned to dogs and the smiles grew warmer and alot of eye contact was made. And I started agreeing with everything vociferously so I could talk when my turn came. They all lamented how hard it was to find obedience classes which weren't too demeaning of their dogs and how even *more difficult to find a trainer who could convince the dogs that their owners were "alpha" without hurting their feelings. So I chimed in that "hell, when I was only seven and Sammy tried to snatch my popsicle I fetched him a kick upside the head and after that he seemed plenty happy with every fourth lick and didn't seem to bother his feelings any either!" This was greeted with stunned silence replaced by murmurings of the difficult lot some animals had to endure. 

But then Bernie said he had thought people were just nuts about dogs until they got their beagle puppy who was so distraught about the separation from his mother that he'd had to sleep with him and his wife ever since. And Susan said he might have been right at first because just a few nights ago he'd been rubbing her shoulder Ooh So deliciously until she'd asked what he wanted in a sultry voice and he'd said "WHAT? What? Oh, I thought you were the dog!" 

I sure hope these people never get horses<g>.

Have Fun!