who needs TV

Bereft of Significant Others last Friday night, I got to do what I wanted to so I went to the local horse auction. Beside me in the stands was a wiry little old man dressed in old timey clothes with a stetson and cane. He had his tongue stuck out most of the time and seemed to relish chewing on it while his lively sharp eyes swept the scene for something of interest. A red-headed, trim but muscular lady sat behind him and seemed to be his monitor.

When the horses were brought in he started squirming and fidgeting. The auctioneers henchmen scanned the audience and shouted "EYAAHA" and punched the air with their fist when they spotted a bid. This fired the old gent up and he'd chime in with a garbled "EYYYUUUHHH!!!" and punch his cane into the air thereby earning him the top bid and immense gratification judging from the way every piece of him seemed to bob with it's own erratic rthymn, an impish smile lighting his face. Redhead remonstrated with him that he *had* three horses at home already that Nanny (presumably his unfortunate sister or wife) had to care for and he was just being selfish and irresponsable! Considering this slowed him down some and he lost all his high dollar bids. 

A 4 YO Appaloosa mare came in and he apparently decided that his 10 minutes of pleasure were worth 15-20 years of Nanny's efforts because he burst into "EYYYUUUHHH!!!"'s and worked that cane while Redhead tried to marshal fresh ammunition. Once he raised his own bid which the auctioneer told him wasn't necessary, at least, not yet, and he twitched and bobbed and glared around hopefully for someone to continue the game. But the mare was knocked down to him and Redhead appeared to be stunned. I leaned over and said I thought the mare had lots of potential, to which she responded that if her rat tail, wall eyes and plastered ears were any indication then she doubted it. A lady behind me said at least she was out of Easy Jet but Redhead replied the mare might be *BY* Easy Jet but she damn sure wasn't *OUT OF* him because he was a stallion. Well, having alienated the neighbors, she went over to try to convince the auctioneer to run the mare through again. 

I left then because re-runs aren't my thing.

Have Fun!